How To Keep A Conversation Going, According To Experts


As painful as admitting it may be, the majority of people take a long time Scrolling thoughtlessly through social mediabeating on dating appsOr even playing mobile games. In other words: this generation loves their phones. In fact, Global Survey 2021 made by data She revealed that most people spend an average of 4.8 hours per day on their mobile device – that’s a third of the hours they spend awake, to put that into perspective. Especially in this post-lockdown era, it can be argued that such a long time spent on screens has somewhat hampered one’s social skills. Raise your hand if you think of yourself “How am I people?“At least once since 2020? Yes – which is why it is useful to know how the conversation continues.

Psychologist and creator of Mental Drive Joshua Klapow, Ph.D. He says that the past few years have certainly created problems with people’s ability to do so Connect to each other IRL. Noisy says, pointing to specific emotion-reading abilities and body language as well as for Keep your focus for long periods of time. “We’re rusty,” Klapow says. looks familiar? In fact.

Whether you’re on a date, in the office, or Chat with a friendYou may find yourself having a hard time dealing with calm or killer silence. To help, here are some expert tips on how to keep the conversation going.

1. Ask open-ended questions

One of the easiest ways to keep the caravan going? Ask open-ended questions, says Klapow. If you notice that the person you’re talking to doesn’t give you the same involvement or energy, find a question that requires more than a yes or no answer. They may not contribute to this because they are nervous or don’t feel connected to the conversation, so try to ask questions that you know they will have an answer to. “You can ask them general questions about what they like, what their lives are like, etc.,” Klapow suggests.

2. Ask them for details

Another trick? Make the other person feel comfortable by encouraging them to contribute more. Klapow says it’s okay to investigate a little to get them to open up. Asking someone to detail something they tell you is a surefire way to get someone less talkative to share more of their thoughts.

3. Talk about topics that interest them

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Klapow suggests that if a meeting reaches a lull, think about the topics they seem to respond to the most and go there. “Ask questions that allow the person to talk about what is most comfortable for them,” Busted said. Or, if you’re a friend on social media, try to remember something that stood out in one of their recent posts—whether it’s a restaurant, a drink, or a cute outfit, bringing it up is sure to impress them.

4. Ask about their likes and dislikes

When all else fails or if you’re not close to the person you’re chatting with, ask directly about the things he likes and dislikes. Klapow notes that this will get them talking. Pro tip: “Try to balance contributions and answers from you and Questions from you to them,” He says.

5. Simulate the person you are talking to

One helpful way to show someone that you are present and interested is to be aware of your responses to what a licensed social work colleague shares. Lexi Alberts Says. “To the extent that it is convenient and comfortable, reflect the language of others when they are talking about themselves,” Bustle said. “This will help avoid putting words in the other person’s mouth, and may go a long way toward someone who feels your vision and reputation.” This might mean refraining from making assumptions about what they’re saying, and instead taking cues from them and responding with an affirmation so they know you’re hearing them.

6. Be comfortable being authentic

For most people, close friends are a safe place when it comes to social interaction. “Depending on how close you are to them, there should be a few defense mechanisms involved. Be human,” Klapow advises. “Note the embarrassing moments, notice how you feel while having conversations, and most importantly comment on – if true – how great it is just to be with them.” Showing that you feel comfortable enough to admit when things get awkward — even through an outright joke — will make your boyfriend feel safe and comfortable as well, which can increase confidence in your bond.

No matter what your conversation situation is, Klapow encourages you to focus on being your most authentic self. Acknowledge that you are human, false lulls or mistakes can occur, and that you are intentional about communicating with the person you are speaking to. After all, the human relationship is back, baby.


Joshua Klapow, Ph.D.psychologist and creator of Mental Drive

Lexi AlbertsLicensed Social Work Associate

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